What does "Family Life" mean to you?
Family life is really the most important thing in our life. It’s this time we spend with both our family and our closest friends. It’s sharing our most special moments with our loved ones as well as sharing the normal things that are going on. It’s sharing our values and time together.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom? I am the second of four children. We were raised in traditional Italian, Portuguese, Catholic household. The kids are very close in age (only 11 months separates the 3 oldest). It seems we were always outside playing with the kids in the neighborhood or over at my grandparents’ house, who lived 5 minutes down the road. My mom stayed home full-time with us and our house always seemed to be the place where everyone spent their days playing basketball, baseball, roller-skating, riding bikes and of course teasing each other. My parents raised us to know right from wrong and the value of life, love and family. Their faith and morals were the foundation for the 4 of us, which has led us to becoming the adults we are today.
Adoptive Dad?
I had a great childhood. We lived on a farm until I was 10 and that offered my brother and I the opportunity to understand responsibility and gave us a sense of freedom to roam without worry. After my parents divorced, I split time between my mom and dad. My dad lived all over the US. Although some kids hated to change schools and anything new, I really liked it. We met all sorts of people, and though I didn’t always appreciate that aspect of it, as an adult I can see how it helps me understand different perspectives, beliefs and attitudes.
Tell us about your home?
We live in a 3 bedroom home that sits on 2 acres of land about 20 miles outside of a large Northeastern city. You’d never guess we were that close to the city. We converted our 4 season sunroom into a gym so we’re able to get our workouts in during the cold winters. We have a good size kitchen, although it’s not quite big enough for both of us to be cooking at the same time. Patrick loves to landscape and our beautiful yard is coming together nicely. I prefer to handle the interior maintenance and I’m making my way through decorating the house; making it more and more ours each day. We’re both really excited to start decorating the nursery!
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
We love to cook, travel and spend time together. The time of year really decides how we spend a long weekend. Most recently we spent a long weekend at the beach watching Patrick compete in a road race, followed by a nice afternoon together and a romantic dinner out. The next day we met friends for breakfast and enjoyed the quiet car ride home catching up. The weekend ended with a nice run for myself and Patrick cooking dinner for us.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
We have a guinea pig named Charlie. We’ve had him for about a year now. Although he was a gift for Patrick’s son, Jared, we spend quite a bit of time with him. Charlie loves to eat. His favorite foods are carrots, red peppers and timothy hay. He whistles when we go into the fridge hoping he’ll be getting some of his favorites and purrs when we hold and pet him. He’s definitely become a beloved family pet for us all.
What is your favorite food?
Jennifer: Lobster and pasta with clams. Patrick: Chili dogs and hamburgers.
What do you hope to teach your children?
We hope to teach our children that anything is possible. We want them to respect themselves and others, to be good people, to instill the values that we share, and to appreciate the simple things life has to offer.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Neither one of us plays a musical instrument but Jared plays the trumpet and is a member of his school and jazz band.
Describe your neighborhood?
Classic New England. There’s a small church in the city center and tree lined streets and 100 year old homes make it almost postcard like. On most weekends you’ll see more bikes and horses on our road than you do cars.
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Mom? Patrick writes me poems. I have them all saved in a special box.
Adoptive Dad? She says more in the first 15 minutes of the day than most people say all day. :-)
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
We were in Cape Cod for a road race and took an evening to get dressed up and enjoy a romantic dinner together. We walked through the quaint town hand and hand, enjoyed a fabulous dinner and went for a ride afterwards taking in the beautiful beach sites and sunset.
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
We will tell him/her that their birthmother loved him/her very much. She made the most difficult and selfless decision for her child by choosing to give her child up for adoption. We will also tell our child that their birthmother gave us the most precious gift of a child to raise and love.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
I’m faced with that decision every year. I usually end up doing whatever my son wants to do. It doesn’t usually matter what we do as long as we’re doing something together.
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
Of course. We both agree it’s important for our child to understand the circumstances in which he/she was given up for adoption. We want to share this was an act of love and doing what was best the child.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
When we purchased our home we did so in one of the strongest school systems in the state (in the top 5). We plan to send him/her to public school. We both value education and its necessity in both academic education and personal development.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
We feel our decision to adopt was very much the path God has chosen for us to parent. We had tried to get pregnant for some time and when that didn’t happen we decided to look to adoption versus fertility treatments. Patrick’s stepmother is adopted and we had both discussed adoption as a way to grow our family even before we started trying to conceive. We feel God is guiding and directing us in finding our child through adoption.
What faith will you raise your child?
Our child will be raised Catholic. Jennifer is Catholic and Patrick is Protestant. We are members of a Catholic church and attend mass regularly. Our intent is that our child will be exposed to other religions and will ultimately decide his/her path.
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
By giving them the tools they need to succeed whether that be: education, self worth, or our undying love and support, regardless of what their dreams may be.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
We’re open to the type of the relationship the birthmom is comfortable with. We’d like to get to know her and for her to get to know us.
How did you meet?
Patrick and I met at work. Although we didn’t work together directly we crossed paths often. Patrick loaned me a book on nutrition after we debated about the nutritional value of orange juice. I found out months later it was a ploy on his behalf to have a reason to talk to me again. We became friends over the next 6 months and I found with every day I was looking more and more forward to seeing and talking to Patrick. Two days after I left the company Patrick asked me out. We’re been inseparable ever since. We have deep respect, trust and love for each other. And feel blessed that we were brought together and to spend our lives together.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Adoptive mom? I have a close relationship with my parents. They live about 2 hours away so we’re close enough to meet for dinner or for a Sunday afternoon cook out. They love Patrick and they all seem to love teasing me so it makes for very fun and entertaining visits. They are very supportive of our decision to adopt and can’t wait to meet their grandchild.
Adoptive dad? Unfortunately my dad passed away a few years ago of a heart attack but I’m close to both my mom and stepmom. Even though they live several hours away, we talk often and email. My stepmom was actually our team captain in one our competitive bike race across the US last year. My family is eagerly awaiting the arrival of their newest grandchild.
What attracted you to each other?
For me (Jennifer), it was Patrick’s sarcasm, sense of humor and southern charm. We talked for hours about any and everything when we first met, which built a really great friendship for more to build. He’s my best friend and I find more and more things each day that I love about Patrick. For me (Patrick), it was Jennifer’s quick wit, high energy and her beautiful brown eyes. She would come zooming by my cube every day filled with so much passion for her work. As we got to know each other I found that her passion and commitment extends beyond just her career to her family and loved ones. She’s loving and supportive of my, sometimes time consuming, hobbies, and takes great care of my son and I.
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom? High energy, passionate, committed and loyal.
Adoptive Dad? Sarcastic, funny, determined and committed.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? I enjoy running and cycling. I’m training now for my first ½ marathon. Patrick is playing the role of coach for myself and a few friends in preparation of the race. I also enjoy reading and spending time at home. We both love to cook so we are often trying new recipes on the weekends as well as making some of our favorite dishes.
Adoptive Dad? I enjoy riding my bike, competing in road races and triathlons and most importantly, spending time with my family.
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
My thoughts are that she is a gift from God who allowed us the privilege to be parents. It’s the most selfless gift someone can give to another. I am grateful beyond words.
How will a child enrich your life?
We are blessed to have a wonderful marriage, family, careers and our health. We both knew we wanted children before we met each other (Patrick wanted more children – he has a son from his first marriage). We both have great families and close relationships with our siblings. We look forward to providing that foundation for our children and continuing to enjoy life with our growing family.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? Mine actually found me. I started in more of a finance position and became interested in Human Resources related work (recruiting, training). I had met someone who had made a similar transition and she hired me to work in recruiting. From there I was approached multiple times to move into different roles in HR. I have found that this work really plays on my strengths – building relationships, understanding the business and making business decisions that are people focused.
Adoptive Dad? I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after high school. My dad pointed me in the direction of an entry level opening at his company. I interviewed and was given an offer. I started in customer service and completed my bachelor’s degree part-time at night. Over the years my roles evolved into more technical operations roles and ultimately into an IT Project Manager. This role is a great balance of leveraging my IT expertise and my ability to organize and drive projects to completion. I also have the flexibility to work from home regularly, which is a great perk in balancing work and family responsibilities.
What makes a birthmom special?
I’m not sure we can even put it into words. I think we’ve tried throughout this questionnaire. She is a woman who made a very difficult, selfless decision and through this loving decision put the needs of her child first. Any person who is able to do this is very special.
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