What does "Family Life" mean to you?
“Family Life” means dinner together in the evenings, outdoor activities on the weekends and a wealth of love, encouragement and support.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom? I grew up with my mother and brother but we visited family often. Both of my parents were successful with their businesses and instilled a strong work ethic, but I feel I missed out on the strong family bond that I always admired in my friends’ families. Since childhood I vowed to have a large and more cohesive family as an adult. As such, I consider myself very lucky to have married into my husband’s large family and look forward to expanding our own immediate family.
Adoptive Dad? I was fortunate to grow up in a large family whose members were all located in the same town. As I grew up, my family ensured that I was constantly surrounded by love and support. My grandparents were a constant influence in my life and played a very active role in my early years due to my parents young age. They were traditional strong valued, hard working and loving people who instilled the ethics and morals that influence me to this day.
Tell us about your home?
We have a “cozy” home that feels warm and inviting. Our home is a spacious 4 bedroom two story with a finished basement that houses and additional fifth bedroom, our recreational room, gym and a den. We have a nice fenced back yard and a larger open field beyond that fence where kids and dogs often play.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
We generally visit Jeff’s immediate family, which resides a few towns away from us, where we gather for large family meals with our extended family. Other weekends we go hiking in the mountains, camping with friends, attend cultural festivals in nearby towns (we love to try different foods), or take a long motorcycle ride. Long weekends while stationed overseas always meant a trip to an archeological site or exploration of a nearby city.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
We have a 5 year old yellow Labrador Retriever named Truman. He is our running partner (he’s completed many half marathons with us) and he loves soccer, fetch and swimming. Truman is known in our neighborhood as “tree-trimming-Truman” because he has assisted neighbors in uprooting dying plants. He talks as if he is human at times and he loves to snuggle.
What is your favorite food?
We love all food. We eat the great majority of our meals at home and tend to cook healthy foods, but we love a good lasagna on occasion. We enjoy trying new recipes and love to use the grill during the summer. Homemade pizza is another hit on movie nights.
What do you hope to teach your children?
We hope to teach our children to believe in themselves and their goals. We want to show them how big the world is, expose them to various cultures and to teach them to respect and care for others. We want to establish a strong foundation of morals, values, and principles. We also believe that structure is an important element in a child’s life. Moreover, we want our children to be able to express their individuality, and creativity.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Jeff is the musician in the family. He grew up playing several instruments and later transitioned into becoming an amateur producer.
Describe your neighborhood?
We live in a wonderful neighborhood with a large number of families with preschool and school age children. Our home is within a few blocks of the local elementary school as well as numerous playgrounds and the community pool. On any given day we wind up chatting with our neighbors or have a spontaneous dog gathering in our front yard. The Home Owners Association is also very active through its sponsorship of family events and neighborhood programs.
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Mom? Jeff cannot watch the Extreme Home Makeover because he gets emotional over the sad stories experienced by many of the featured families.
Adoptive Dad? Kim doesn’t like bugs no matter the size. If she was able to, Kim would redecorate the house every month. Also, it doesn’t matter how many times we have been to the same restaurant with the same menu, Kim will look at the menu like it’s the first time.
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
We took a day off of work and visited a few vineyards then we stayed at an very quiet spa/inn in the country where we received a couples message, had flowers and champagne waiting in our room, and a candle-lit dinner.
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
This will depend a large part on the role the birthmother plans to have post adoption, however, we will certainly tell our child that his/her mother loved him/her enough to allow us to adopt him/her and that her act was a selfless and courageous decision.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
Every day is Daddy’s day. I will never take for granted that every day is special when it comes our children. Stimulating the mind and encouraging creativity in very important to me. When our kids are young, I would spend the morning in the neighborhood playground on the swings followed by an afternoon of finger painting or drawing the biggest mural in the neighborhood in our driveway with 3D chalk. As they get older, I look forward to spending days at the many cultural and recreational sites in the vicinity of our home (Museums, Zoos, National Parks), which we would take advantage of on a regular basis. Of course, Six Flags would always be a fun dad‘s day trip too!
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
Yes, if that is possible.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
Likely a public education at first. If we are posted overseas again in the future, we have the luxury of utilizing a more private education system when/where it is available. We will open a college fund for our child which will supplement the Army’s newly instituted college fund that is eligible for use by service members children.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
We had a discussion about adoption when we initially decided we were ready to start a family, when we still believed we would conceive naturally. We each stated that we were happy to adopt a child because the entire purpose of expanding our family was to share our love and lives with children we could parent - natural or adopted. After unsuccessful rounds of fertility treatment, we embarked on the path of adoption as our natural next step.
What faith will you raise your child?
Protestant
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
We both believe that encouragement , support and guidance are extremely important in helping people achieve their dreams. We will encourage our children to have numerous dreams/ambitions and we will support them in their endeavors to achieve those goals, whether it be through education, a trip to a far off place or lots of batting practice in the cages.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
This will be entirely up to the birthmother. We would like to get to know her if possible, because we feel the more she knows us the more confident she will feel in picking us to parent her baby. We would also like to be a support mechanism for her - if she needs/wants such a relationship.
How did you meet?
We had to travel half way around the world to meet! I was assigned to a US Embassy in the Middle East and Jeff was temporarily stationed at the same embassy. Our first date was at a Dutch Embassy sponsored black tie gala in May 2003, where Jeff fell into a water fountain while dancing. After drying Jeff off and sharing a first kiss, we knew it was meant to be.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
My (Kim’s) relationship with my parents was good, though my parents were divorced and both worked endless hours to support my brother and me. I was closest to my mother, who taught me how to bake, sew and cheered me on in my soccer games.
Adoptive Dad? I was, and still remain extremely close to my parents. My dad is my best friend, outside of Kim, and there is nothing I cannot go to him with. He has always been there for me and supported me in any venture I wanted to undertake. Even today we still do father son activities, such as competing on a skydiving team together. I grew up as a mommy’s boy, but she let that go as I go older. At least she lets me believe she has let it go. She was always there to protect and shelter me, but never smothered me to the point that I could not be my own person and take risk in life. My parents are the foundation for my success as an adult.
What attracted you to each other?
Since we met while working, we had a good sense of (and later noted our attraction to) each other’s intellect, drive, ambitious natures and career successes. Jeff is a warm, caring and funny person whom everyone is drawn to. I remember seeing him play with colleagues’ children at the Embassy in Damascus and thinking he was so great with kids (this was before we dated!).
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom? Caring and loving. I also tend to be a very focused, organized and driven individual, which is due to my planning and goal oriented nature.
Adoptive Dad? I tend to be the one who is more free spirited, doesn’t need a plan for everything, and a bit more sociable (though we are both outgoing people). I think the reason I like to let things happen as they may comes from being so structured in my day to day life with my job (being in the Army). I generally like to think I can make friends wherever I go and can fit into any crowd. Kim and I balance each other out in many ways.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? We both enjoy all athletic activities, specifically endurance running, bike riding, hiking, golf, tennis and training/lifting. We also enjoy traveling, visiting new countries or cities, touring historical sites, riding together on Jeff‘s Harley, and wine tasting. Separate from our shared hobbies I like to cook, read, decorate/update our house and shop with friends.
Adoptive Dad? I have a wide variety of hobbies ranging from those that are physically demanding to those that stimulate the mind. I have always had a passion for many forms of art. I love to paint with oils and acrylics and I am a fanatic with a camera as well - often taking photos to inspire my painting. Music is huge part of my life. I grew up playing several instruments and was formally trained to read and write music, which eventually lead me to be more interested in the production of music. I enjoy skydiving, an activity I picked up for work, but which eventually became a father and son outing (my dad and I have been skydiving together for over 16 years).
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
My thoughts would be filled with thanks and gratitude. I would also hope that she knew how happy her child would be with us, the brilliant future it would have as a member of our family and the amount of love her child would feel on a daily basis.
How will a child enrich your life?
We already know we are fortunate to have the lives we have been blessed to have to date. The addition of a child would allow us to share the love we have in our family, and to pass that love on to a future family that our child would have one day. We would love to see the efforts of our focus love and energy grow as our child grows.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? I joined the US State Department after completing my Masters in Political Science, which was a natural choice to me given that I have always been fascinated by international relations and foreign cultures. Working overseas as a diplomat I took great pride in representing the US government and its citizens and I have always felt a great sense of fulfillment through service to my country.
Adoptive Dad? I joined the military when I was 18 and never envisioned myself staying as long as I have. My initial intentions were to join for the education benefits, growing up a little bit, and then go to college. Little did I know that close to 20 years later the military would have such a profound impact on my life. I did not realize that it would become a calling, nor did I realize that dedication, discipline and perseverance would take me so far and open so many doors.
What makes a birthmom special?
Her decision to be a mother by bringing a precious life into this world and not ending a pregnancy because of its inconvenience. She is special because she cares enough to make the right decision and possibly give a precious gift to another family.
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