What does "Family Life" mean to you?
It means having someone to depend on in good times and not so good times, no matter what. Family is the backbone of our lives for us and we are hoping to expand our family to include your baby girl. We have two small boys (your baby’s big brothers) and a large extended family. Family life is fun. We really make the most of the things we can celebrate; birthdays, holidays, and just playing together out in the yard.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom? I had an idyllic childhood. I grew up on a small farm in a busy town. My parents are still together after forty-five years, and very happy. I have two younger brothers one of which is married and just had a baby boy. I went to public school and then college. Most of my memories of being a child are of playing outside in the tree fort, camping out, playing GI Joe and Barbie, swimming and having fun. I used to play hair dresser on my mom and younger brothers. Poor boys, I even painted their nails.
Adoptive Dad? Growing up in a neighborhood filled with other children I spent a lot of time swimming and playing with the other kids. We would play waffle ball in the street all summer long. I played a lot of sports, and also liked to read. My friends and I would go camping on the weekends when I was older. I had an old pickup truck and would drive in the woods, we called it mudding.
Tell us about your home?
We live in a large four bedroom and three bathroom house. We are near a river in a small town. It is a great place to raise children. We have a large shaded yard to run and play in with a swing set, a sand box, and a play shed filled with balls, trucks and such. We have made a play room right next to the kitchen and a “bounce” room downstairs with a mattress to bounce on.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
We often go to the beach where a relative has a townhouse. It is fun to see the boys romp in the surf and we build sandcastles. We also go camping at least once a year, and try to go skiing once a year. We visit extended family that lives a few hours away for barbeques and picnics.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
Oh yea. We have two cats; Stinkey and Sidney, a guinea pig named Pickles, a hamster named Mr. Baby, and a fish named Mr. FishyFish. They are cute and fun and we enjoy them. Our youngest son even took his guinea pig with him when he went to camp at Rachel’s parents. We feel it also teaches our boys the importance of taking care of something small, Rule #1 with the pets is to not drop them on their head. The boys are good with them and gentle. The pets are their friends. They talk to them all the time. Our youngest son went to see Mr. Baby during a storm and told him "don’t be scared, I’m here."
What is your favorite food?
For Rachel, Thai anything, I was a flight attendant for twelve years and got to spend some time in Thailand and I loved the food, plus I like a good burger and fries. Dax is more a steak and potato kind of guy. He also loves apple dumplings. The boys are all about pizza, chocolate milk and candy. They really like fruit too.
What do you hope to teach your children?
There are many things: to love always even if it gives you a heartache, to learn as much as you can about anything you are interested in, to appreciate the beautiful earth around us, and to be thankful for the little things; plus school is a big thing. Our three year old can already spell his name, and our five year old can write his.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Yes, Rachel plays a little piano; I took lessons for years when I was younger, but it has been a long time since I played.
Describe your neighborhood?
It is an amazing place to raise children. You literally see children riding their bikes down Main Street to the ice cream shop. It is a rural area with large towns north and south of us. It is a very friendly place and neighbors really care about each other. It is green with many trees, and it is also flat, which is good for riding your bike up and down the lanes. There are other children in the neighborhood for our children to play with. We are lucky to have a playground about five minutes away, and a community beach.
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Mom? Dax likes crime novels.
Adoptive Dad? Rachel snores.
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
We went out for a date night while Rachel’s parents watched the boys and sat for hours and had hard shelled crabs and talked about life and our sweet kids.
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
Anything they want to know. We are very open with our adoptive child about his adoption. He will sometimes ask us "Remember when you came to Russia to get me?" His birthmother is a part of his life, and a part of all of our lives. We want to let our baby girl's birthmother be involved to the point that she is comfortable.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
Something fun, like going to Chuckey Cheeses for pizza and games, or playing in the yard in the sprinkler and baby pools. Dax takes the boys fishing and even after dozens of trips without catching any fish, we still keep going for fun.
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
Absolutely, that is their history. If the birthparents do not want us to, we will respect their wishes, but we would like to give our child all the information we can.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
Private, we are very lucky that education is super important to our parents and they are paying for our children to go to a wonderful private school. Rachel drives car pool with another family and the kids seem to have a great time on the way to school.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
We tried for five years to get pregnant with no luck. It was very trying on us both. Then one day we decided it was more important to be parents rather than Rachel having a child. It was exciting. We went to a non-profit organization meeting on adoption and on the second day some families came to talk to us with their adopted children. Well, this precious little girl waddles up to Dax and raises her arms and that was it, we were hooked.
What faith will you raise your child?
Episcopalian. Dax was raised Catholic and Rachel was raised Episcopalian, and we just happened to find the greatest little Episcopal church when we moved six years ago. Dax and I are very open minded to many different religions and cultures and the most important thing to us is that the child be raised knowing there is love in the world and a higher power to depend on, God.
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
Through encouragement. Children need to feel successful and secure. If you tell a child they can reach their dreams and help them make a plan, then they can be successful. I hope to encourage their dreams by telling them to try, and keep trying. Plus, if there is anything Dax and I can do on terms of education, classes or lessons, we will provide these.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
We hope to be people she can rely on and count on. Since Rachel has been pregnant, we hope that she can turn to us, to answer any questions about having a baby. We want her to trust us since we already have so much compassion and affection for her, and we have not even met.
How did you meet?
Dax was the manager of a golf shop and Rachel came in to buy her brother a birthday gift and we started to talk, actually Dax was making a sign and he kept writing it wrong and ripping it up so Rachel joked “do you need help?” Dax gave Rachel his card and said “yes.” Well Rachel had a job and a boyfriend but the boyfriend became history and some extra cash sounded good so she started working there. After a month Dax said "you are fired; do you want to go out?" Honestly, it happened just like that.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Rachel and her parents have a great relationship. Rachel talks with her mom almost every day. Rachel’s parents are still together after forty-four years, and are very happy. Dax has a wonderful relationship with his folks too. Dax and his father talk almost every day; his stepmom has been in his life since he was three. His mom and stepdad visit us, and we visit them regularly too.
What attracted you to each other?
It just clicked from the beginning. We had fun together and talked about everything. There was no wondering "is he going to call?" He did, and Dax did sweet things for Rachel along the way. Dax got Rachel a chinchilla for Easter because he thought it was a bunny. Rachel would bring him back little treats from her trips overseas. We both like to be outdoors and wanted a large family. Well, our love just grew and grew, and we have been together ever since.
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom? I am very outgoing and gregarious. I like to be with friends and family. I can talk to anyone. I like to be silly with our little boys. I am the mom who is always dressed up in a costume every Halloween at the boys' school.
Adoptive Dad? I am more reserved. I dressed as a dad for Halloween.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? Flower arranging, arts and crafts with kids, volunteering at church and school. Together we boat and work in the yard. We used to travel together and backpacked through Europe for four months, what a blast that was.
Adoptive Dad? I like golf and camping. My better half makes me work in the yard but I secretly like to ride the lawn mower.
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
Total thankfulness. That is it pretty much, thankfulness for this amazing person who can make our dreams come true. I hope she finds peace knowing we will love her child endlessly, and will keep her in our hearts.
How will a child enrich your life?
Children are a joy; there is no other way to put it. I smile almost every time I see one. Children are enriching by the way they see things; we always stop to check out a butterfly or bug. They make you slow down and enjoy the simple things in life. They make you feel good when you have taught them something and they succeed at it; learning to swing is hard for them.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? Being a stay-at-home mom is the most rewarding and sometimes challenging (potty training) job I have ever had. I was a flight attendant for twelve years and have traveled the world, then I was a florist, and as much as I loved those jobs, nothing compares to the smiles on my boys' faces. The hugs they give, their cute little antics, and the things they say like “mommy I lub you more than pizza.” I always wanted to be a mother. I think you can say motherhood chose me.
Adoptive Dad? It was a family business, my grandfather worked in a car dealership and so did my father, although we all worked at different ones, it was the family business. I like being in parts and service and being able to help people when they need it.
What makes a birthmom special?
Selflessness. This is a completely selfless act she is making. She is allowing another family’s dream to come true. Very few people have the ability to totally change a child’s life by putting that child first. If you ask most people, they would say that they would do anything for their child, but few would make the kind of sacrifice a birthmother does. When it mattered to her baby most, she made the decision to put her baby first. That is truly special and something she can be proud of her whole life.
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