What does "Family Life" mean to you?
“Family Life” means sharing experiences and being involved in each other’s lives. We get to share the ups and down of everyday life as well as celebrating the milestones along the way! Family Life is being present in each other’s lives and being comfortable around each other, knowing when to lend a helping hand and when just a little praise and encouragement is all that is needed.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom: Growing up I had parents who were both hard working and involved in our lives. My parents owned and operated a nursing home, where I spent much of my “growing up” years, involved in bingo games, birthday parties and domino tournaments. It felt like I had 50 grandparents! Both of my parents were raised in the Catholic Church so my sisters and I were involved from an early age in church activities. We were lucky enough to have parents that wanted to be involved in our lives so they sponsored activities with our youth group like fundraising paper drives to help the needy, Friday night dances after football games so all the kids had a fun, positive place to hang out and our annual CYO ski trip to reward all of the hard working youth.
Adoptive Dad: I have very fond memories of my early years growing up, spending time with my family decorating for holidays and parties and having dinner at the family table. We spent lots of summers with our cousins in Texas at my grandmother’s house, playing at the neighborhood park.
Tell us about your home?
We own a spacious three bedroom, two bath home with an additional great room upstairs. Our beautiful home is surrounded by trees, flowers and beautiful natural Texas landscaping in front and a huge fenced in backyard with a pool and waterfall to enjoy on a sunny afternoon. Our living room and kitchen have big bay windows overlooking the pool and patio where we spend lots of time together with family. We live on a quiet street, traffic wise, while our community thrives with young children who like to take advantage of the beautiful community park, go for bike rides on the bike path, or enjoy family boating adventures on a beautiful Lake nearby. The best thing out our home is that we share it, together.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
It’s not unusual for us to pack up the tent and head to the lake for a weekend of camping under the stars and cooking on the campfire (we’re actually going out with my mom, sister, niece and nephew to camp this weekend!). In the evening we like to enjoy Chocolate S’mores and Jiffy Pop and sing alongs when Phil breaks out his guitar. Another favorite 3-day weekend is to head to Port Aransas with friends and family. We like to spend the day on the beach, catching up with each other and building sand castles. We like to go back to the condo and cook a big family style dinner while everyone relaxes. Just spending time together, hanging out is really important to our family.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
We have three cats with three completely different personalities! Icky is our oldest, with a beautiful black shiny coat and piercing green eyes. She likes to be the center of attention, either finding her way into Denise’s lap or sprawled out in the middle of the living room floor, lying on her back, waiting for someone to play with her. Callie is the middle kitty that we got from the Siamese Rescue. She had been left in a strip mall parking lot, covered in oil when she was found. She stayed hidden a lot in the beginning when we brought her home and didn’t make a sound for at least a year. Now she sits on the couch with us every morning when we have coffee, meowing and squeaking to get our attention. Cheezer is our little Siamese kitty that Phil found outside his office, in the pouring rain, traumatized under the front steps. She was extremely skittish when Phil brought her home but she eventually learned to trust us and curls up at the foot of our bed every night.
What is your favorite food?
Adoptive Dad: Dessert…of any kind and at any time!
Adoptive Mom: Absolutely, without a doubt…chocolate brownies, with lots of nuts!
What do you hope to teach your children?
Our children will learn to be compassionate, loyal and caring individuals by developing loving, long lasting relationships with their family and friends and by participating in community activities. We will teach of our children to be courageous by helping them to develop a good, healthy self esteem, encouraging them with lots of laughter and humor. We hope to plant the seeds of the enduring values that have made our marriage a strong and long lasting one. We hope to teach them by example and to foster the growth of these values and morals while also teaching them how to love unconditionally.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Phil is the only one with any musical talent in the family, although he continually tries to encourage me to sing! Our kids will definitely have a dad that is supportive of their musical talents! Phil plays the guitar and harmonica, and is a pretty good singer too! He’s got a little studio setup in the family room upstairs, with a couple of guitars, microphones, amps and keyboard. Our nieces and nephew love to ham it up with Uncle Phil!
Describe your neighborhood?
We have THE BEST neighborhood ever! It has a country feel while still being close to all the necessities…good schools, grocery stores, Dr.’s office etc. We love to sit on our front poor and feed the deer in the morning and watch the fawns learn to walk (or wobble!) in the springtime. We’ve got a great little neighborhood park within walking distance to our home and, since we live near a lake, it’s never difficult to find something fun to do. Just this last weekend we went camping down by the lake with my mom, sister and niece and nephew! During the summer you can generally find us hanging by the pool with the grill fired up or a block down the street at Mom’s, hanging out by her pool!
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Dad: Phil has a very tender heart.
Adoptive Mom: Denise is extremely attached to her Great Grandmother’s ring.
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
We recently went to France to celebrate our 20th anniversary! We also regularly have “date night” which we just had, where we went to dinner together then went to see the play Wicked (Phil planned this one!). The time before that (which I planned) was salsa dancing and dinner! We love to have fun together!
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
We would share with our children that that their birthmother loved them enough to make a very tough, unbelievably unselfish decision. She cared so much for them that she gave them the opportunity to have a full life with two loving, caring individuals that are so grateful for her sacrifice.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
The day would be special for everyone! We would start by going out to a special breakfast, just Daddy and the kiddos, for some Daddy-time. We’d followed that up by a family bbq out by the pool.
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
Yes, when they are old enough and interested in knowing their birth parents better we are completely open to sharing as much information as the birth parents want to share. The child will know how courageous their birth parents were.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
Choosing a school will be one of the most important decisions that we make for our child. Both Phil and I attended public schools and feel it was an important part of our development, both socially and academically. With that said, for us, it not really a questions of Private vs. Public, but more a question of choosing a school based on quality of education available, accountability, curriculum and teacher training. If a local, public school is a better educational match for our child, then we will do what’s best for the child.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
We always assumed we would have a family naturally so when we found out this wasn’t possible we thought that maybe it wasn’t part of God’s plan. As time went by, we knew something was missing in our lives…children. We both have lots of love in our hearts to give and so, with lots of soul searching and prayers, we knew that we were meant to have children and that adoption was the answer to our prayers.
What faith will you raise your child?
Christian-Catholic
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
Our children will have a strong foundation of love and support, both emotionally and financially. We will instill values that will help them make good decisions and they will know that, no matter what decisions they make, they are loved, unconditionally, and can ALWAYS count on us. We will teach our children that they are valuable and that they deserve to be treated with dignity and respect because self-respect leads to positive self-esteem, which ultimately controls our success and happiness.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
Depending on her wishes, we would like to have a relationship of open communication. She will know that her child is surrounded by love from the moment we meet and the enduring love that we Phil and I have for each other will be spread out to encompass her and her baby. We want to surround her with love and kindness.
How did you meet?
We have a really corny “first meeting” story. My mom took my best friend and I to Lake Texoma to interview for a summer job after our college freshman year at OU ended. We went to this fabulous restaurant on the water where we wanted to work for the summer and decided to go ahead and eat lunch while we waited for our chance to interview. This long tall Texan (that would be Phil!), with big brown “Bambi” eyes and a Texas sized grin, sauntered up to our table to welcome us and take our order. When he walked away mom said “Well, now we know where all the cute guys are working for the summer!” Not long after that, I literally “fell into his arms” when I took a spill down a flight of steps and the rest is, as they say…history!
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Adoptive Dad: My mother was one of the most loving, giving people I have ever known. She was always there to support and encourage us all while also lending a helping hand to those in need in the community. My father is strong, supportive, and very active in the community. He has always been a strong role model in my life.
Adoptive Mom: My parents were very supportive, encouraging me to participate in a variety of sports, dance and music related activities, while they also encouraged me to work hard academically. I can best describe Mom and Dad as strong, supportive, stable parents who gave lots of love, understanding and encouragement while I was growing up, and continue to do so to this day.
What attracted you to each other?
We just liked hanging out with each other right off the bat. We were both working at the lake and both liked to camp and boat and dance and just have a good time. We really enjoyed each other’s company. Phil got my silly sense of humor and we made each other laugh.
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom: I think I’m a little on the shy side until I get to know you, then watch out! I’m extremely loyal so, once I make a friend; they’re a friend for life. I tend to have a goofy sense of humor and way too much energy for my own good.
Adoptive Dad: I’m a dreamer at heart and I really like to make people smile. I’d say “laid back” would be an appropriate description of me. This part of my personality goes well with my “super sonic speed” wife.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom: I’m very energetic so working out and just about any outdoor activity gets me excited. I also love to cook and since Phil REALLY likes to eat, we’re the perfect match! To relax it’s not unusual to find me sitting on the front poor reading a book or out by the pool, listening to music. One thing we really like to do together (besides eat!) is to travel. We look forward to exploring the world and taking our children on lots of adventures.
Adoptive Dad: Playing the guitar and listening to music really makes me happy. And yes, like Denise said, I do love to eat! I love all things construction and building and am constantly fixing and building things around the house. Camping is something that we love to do together and I’m especially good at building campfires, being an Eagle Scout and all!
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
I can only think of how gracious and kind she is to be making this decision for her baby, and for giving us this opportunity. Her courage is limitless. She exemplifies the kind of loving, caring, giving values that we will teach our child. Our child will know what a truly beautiful person she is.
How will a child enrich your life?
Our life would be enriched because we would have the opportunity to give something back. We have learned the joys of giving and sharing with each other and know the fulfillment that it has brought to us throughout our marriage. By giving and sharing our lives with a child, we will be able to watch our joy and fulfillment grow and blossom in another person’s life, enriching all our lives together, as a family.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom: I’m a numbers person for sure! I’ve always liked solving equations and coming to a concrete answer. Accounting was the natural path for me career wise, and Phil was the perfect compliment with his creative nature!
Adoptive Dad: Real Estate and remodeling go hand in hand so I took my love of building and construction and enhanced it by getting a degree in real estate. Both areas have lots of room for problem solving and have brought me lots of challenges (which is what I really thrive on!) and triumphs over the years.
What makes a birthmom special?
Without a doubt, it would have to be her courage and strength in making such difficult, life-changing decision and the amazing self-sacrifice of putting her child first.
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