What does "Family Life" mean to you?
Family life is about the time that we spend together as a family. We include our animals in this discussion which might surprise some people, but during our 16 year-long struggle to have a family, birds and dogs have often filled the void. Our pets are our children. So family life is simply about being together. We also know what it is like to live far from other members of our family (the military introduced us to this) and thus we have become the home of record at the holidays to everyone else in the same boat. All friends are welcome and we have a large "extended" family.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom? My sister and I were the only grandchildren on either side of our family. My grandparents lived two blocks apart so we spent every holiday, birthday, summer vacation and most weekends together. Whether we were baking cookies with Grandma Annie, going to the Jersey Shore with Mom and Dad, candy store with Grandpa Nick or playing with dolls in the bathtub at Grandma Josie’s house, I always laughed a lot and have many loving memories I still think about today. We lived in a great neighborhood full of kids, many of whom I am still friends with today.
Adoptive Dad? My childhood was pretty much perfect. I had two loving parents who were happily married for forty years until my father's passing two years ago. I have two younger sisters and we all got along well. While we didn't have much money, we managed to take a week long family vacation every year—usually to someplace near the ocean or a lake. While we were encouraged to participate in various activities, we were never pushed. I was allowed to play sports year round and my father helped out as an umpire in Little League. He also drove me around the city at all hours to play hockey. Additionally, he altered his work schedule so that he could be at all of my high school athletic events which generally started around 3:30. My mother was active as a Cub Scout leader and in our church groups.
Tell us about your home?
Our home is a happy place. There are four bedrooms upstairs, along with three bathrooms and a laundry room. Downstairs is very open with a family room, dining room and kitchen. We have a medium-sized yard that we astro-turfed because we've had dogs over the years and it’s been cleaner and more comfortable for them. Right now we have Tiani, our dog, and Hula our bird.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
On a three-day weekend we might visit someplace like Palm Springs or San Diego, or we might spend a day at Disneyland. Depending on the holiday we may have friends over for a Bar-B-Q, or we might just spend a few days relaxing at the beach.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
Pets have been a special and important part of our lives for many years. Struggling to have children has probably made them an even more important part of our family than most. Right now we are left with Tiani, our Champion Samoyed, and Hula, our silly, sweet Cockatoo bird. For years, Lory showed our dogs and Tiani was our third dog and third champion. Sadly, in the last year we lost Keoni (Tiani's aunt) and Kalani (Tiani's father). They were both very old, but were deeply loved and are sorely missed.
What is your favorite food?
We both love pizza!
What do you hope to teach your children?
We would simply like to raise our children to be good people; to know right from wrong. To understand the importance of hard work and the value of money. Treat all people with respect. To see the goodness in everyone and to recognize that a smile or a kind word can really make someone’s day a whole lot brighter.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Does Guitar Hero count?
Describe your neighborhood?
Our neighborhood is filled with children of all ages due to the proximity of so many good middle schools and high schools. The town we live in insists on a large number of parks in the residential areas. We have two parks and three schools within a short walking distance of our home. Additionally, there is a dog park less than a mile away and the beach is only a short drive away.
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Mom? Even though Chris jumped out of planes many times while he was in the military, he is terrified of heights.
Adoptive Dad? Lory has been the President of a few clubs but is afraid of public speaking.
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
Grandma and Grandpa babysat while we got dressed up and went out on a very fancy dinner date.
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
The truth—when the child is ready. We will tell him/her whatever they want to know.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
Golf would be ideal, but a hockey or basketball game would be fun too.
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
I guess that would depend on what and how much we knew about them. Our feeling is the truth is always the best path.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
Private is our initial thought, but we are lucky to be in an area where the public schools are also very good.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
As soon as the doctor said that we could not have children we immediately thought of adoption.
What faith will you raise your child?
Catholic
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
Love and support. We will raise him/her to be a good person, which will create the necessary framework. A focus on a good education will also help.
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
It depends on what type of relationship the birthmom wants with us. We are open to whatever she feels comfortable with.
How did you meet?
We met at a friend's birthday party in 1989.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Adoptive Mom? My mom was a stay-at-home mom and pretty much did everything for us. My dad travelled frequently for work but when he was home he devoted all of his time to my sister and me. I had a great relationship with both my parents up until the time they divorced when I was a teenager. There were a few years when the road was rocky but all that was resolved years ago and we are all extremely close and talk frequently again.
Adoptive Dad? Terrific. I talk frequently to my mom, and my father (deceased) was always and probably will be the man I admire most in the world. My whole life I have worked hard to try and make them proud. I miss my dad a lot and think of him often.
What attracted you to each other?
Initially, I simply thought she was beautiful. Later, I learned she was beautiful, smart and the nicest person I ever met.
I noticed him from clear across the room and worked my way over to meet him. He was handsome, funny, and smart, and didn’t use any corny pickup lines on me like most guys did back in those days!
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom? I’m extremely outgoing, silly, and witty, and have a good sense of humor. I’m generous and thoughtful, and care a lot about those who are a part of my life. I’ve always had many friends because I enjoy people and like to laugh and joke around. I’m very artistic and pay close attention to detail. I love all animals and kids. I’ll do anything for a friend or family member. I try to do a random act of kindness every single day, whether it be giving a needy person some money or just waiting for someone to pull out of their parking spot. I always stop to smell flowers as I realize life is a precious gift.
Adoptive Dad? I love to be outgoing and friendly and to have a good time. I’m passionate in my convictions and always strive hard to be the best at whatever I am doing. I am honest and trustworthy. I volunteered to fight in Iraq last year.
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? Painting, arts and crafts of all kinds, dog showing, playing games like mahjong, bunko or cards, boogie boarding, diving and anything beach related.
Adoptive Dad? Golf, running and lifting weights (individual), going to hockey and baseball games, anything animal related, and anything ocean/diving related.
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
I will thank her in my thoughts every day for helping me to make my dream come true. Since I am unable to conceive a child myself, I will honor her for her bravery in choosing to let me raise her child with a life of love and security.
How will a child enrich your life?
We always wanted a large family. When we found out we couldn't conceive, it was a traumatic moment in our lives. The birth of Tanner, our son, via a surrogate, was a miracle. That he will have a little brother or sister will not only fulfill our lives, but it will enhance his as well.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? Because Chris was in the military, I put any career ambitions on hold as we were moving around a lot. Once he left the military and we settled in California I began to work again but in our efforts to have children we thought it best that I didn't work in an effort to reduce the stress. Fortunately we are now in a position where I don't need to work and I can spend time at home with children.
Adoptive Dad? The military was a great life initially, but Lory and I spent too much time apart.
What makes a birthmom special?
The courage and commitment to do what she thinks is right for the child. For us it is a wonderful gift that we will be eternally grateful to her for.
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