What does "Family Life" mean to you?
Sharing a home with people that you love as a family unit. Having a home and spending time cooking, laughing and supporting each other in every way. Encouraging each other to be the best that you can be as an individual, while still respecting and trusting the bond that is between you. But most of all, a family is a place where you feel safe and loved, no matter what.
Describe your childhood:
Adoptive Mom? I had a very loving mom and a stable, happy home. My parents were divorced when I was 6 and we did not have a lot of money apparently. My memories are happy and I never felt like I was in need of anything. I had a lot of family and a lot of friends. I was very social and outgoing. I was good at anything that I put my mind to. I do not have any negative feelings about my childhood except that I always wished that my parents had stayed together. I think it is so important for kids to have both parents living at home.
Adoptive Dad? I was very social and athletic. I was always involved in sports at all times. I played baseball and football throughout school and into college. My dad always had an adventure that he would take us on. We went for motor home trips and dirt bike riding. He made sure we always had a good vacation. My parents divorced when I was 10 but I still spent a lot of time with my dad. My brother and I lived with my mom until we left for college. I had a great childhood and a lot of fun in college.
Tell us about your home?
We live in a beautiful beach community. We have a large Spanish-style home that we built 6 years ago. It is warm and cozy with lots of beautiful wood throughout. We have a very laidback lifestyle and our home reflects that. We like to entertain and have friends over. Our kids love to have dance parties and listen to music.
When you have a 3-day weekend, what do you like to do?
We will normally spend a three-day weekend on our boat if the weather is nice. We have a powerboat that sleeps 6 and is great for fishing and camping trips. We like to camp on the water. Our boys love to sleep on the boat and fish off of the back in the morning. Our oldest son is even learning to drive our dinghy and is very excited about it. Both of our boys are in swim lessons and our oldest will start swimming on a swim team this summer.
Do you have pets? If so tell us about them?
We do not have any pets.
What is your favorite food?
Our favorite food as a family would probably be Mexican food. We both like Mexican food and the kids love rice and beans. We have a lot of good Mexican food restaurants within walking distance from our home.
What do you hope to teach your children?
Independence. A good self image. That it’s ok to be different and that we are all very unique in our own ways. We want to convey to them how important it is to be honest and to keep your word. We want them to realize that all of the decisions we make have consequences and that as you get older those decisions become more important.
Do you play any musical instruments?
Sadly, neither of us plays a musical instrument. We both wish that we did. It's one of the few things we both regret not doing growing up. Music is a big part of our lives and both of our kids love music too. We often have “Friday Night Dance Parties”. We invite a few friends over, order pizza and dance. The whole family loves it!
Describe your neighborhood?
We live in a small beach community. We are close to the beach, parks, churches and stores. We can walk to any one of those places and usually do. We walk to more places than we drive our car. We often walk to dinner. Our neighborhood is very unique and very kid-friendly. We love where we live!
Share something about your spouse that only you know:
Adoptive Mom? He cares about all people and truly believes in the greater good. If the kids cry out in the middle of the night he will sleep on the floor next to them so that they are not scared. He loves sweets!
Adoptive Dad? She is a great mom and will do anything for our kids. She will make any sacrifice necessary to make sure the kids are happy. She loves cartoons. She worries about the kids whenever she is away from them.
Describe the last romantic thing you did together?
We took our boat on a weekend away without the kids for our 11th anniversary. We went to romantic dinners and slept in, it was great!
What will you tell your child about their birthmother?
We will tell her that she is an amazing woman who made a very difficult choice to make so many people happy. She will always know that she came from love and that her being with us was carefully planned. Her story will be conveyed with so much love and acceptance that she will know there are so many people in the world that love her.
It's Daddy's day - what activity do you want to share with your child?
Probably time on the boat. That is really quality family time for all of us. Our kids love the boat and are always happy when we are on it. We usually fish off of the back. If not on the boat, maybe bike ride down the bike path or a day at the beach.
Do you plan on sharing with your child what their birth parents were like?
Absolutely! We adopted our first son and we have already conveyed to him a sweet story about his birth. Because he is only 5 we haven’t specifically talked about his birth parents because he hasn’t asked yet or put that part of it together. When he does we have so many pictures and letters of his birth parents that he can really get a feel for them. We will openly share all of this information and always in a positive light.
What kind of education are you hoping to provide for your child - Private or Public?
We have really great public schools near us. In addition to that, we feel it is important for our kids to be integrated with a lot of different kinds of kids. That’s real life. We are trying to raise healthy, happy children that can function and relate to the real world. In the event they needed additional attention or help with schoolwork or other, we will always be open to that regardless of where they are attending school.
How did you come to the decision of adoption?
We adopted our first son after years of unexplained infertility. When he was 18 months old Tracy became pregnant with our second son. We always knew that we wanted to adopt another child. We are looking to adopt a little girl only because we have that choice and feel it will be a great balance for our family.
What faith will you raise your child?
We are Catholic but honestly we do not attend church every week. We are of the belief that living a good and honest life and helping others is the most important thing. There are things about the Catholic church that we feel are outdated but we like the structure of the church and feel like it is a good foundation.
How will you help your child accomplish their dreams?
We believe in providing our children with as many opportunities as possible. We are supporting them in the things that interest them but also doing all of the mainstream things with them as well. We don’t feel that it is necessary for our kids to fit into “a box”; we embrace their uniqueness. It's hard sometimes because we are trying to watch out for them and keep them safe without pushing too many opinions on them. All we want is for our children to grow up happy and able to take care of themselves. We have no preconceived ideas about what they will be and are excited to see what they come up with!
What kind of a relationship do you hope to build with your birthmom through her pregnancy?
A relationship that is based on trust and support. This is such an emotional time for her and to make her feel secure and happy about her decision to choose adoption. This is our second time around and I was very close and supportive of our son’s birthmom during her pregnancy. It’s so great now because there is absolutely no doubt that the choice she made was the right choice for everyone, for herself, for her son and of course, for us. We have all benefited and thrived from the precious gift of life.
How did you meet?
After we were matched and spoke on the phone several times we flew out to meet her and her boyfriend. While we were there we met most of their families. We felt that it was important to meet each other before the baby was born. I’m really glad that we did. It made it a lot easier when he was born. We had established a really strong bond.
What was your relationship with your parents like?
Very close. Our moms are both true mothers. They liked being moms and they still like being moms. Our dads were a little more wild and that’s part of the reason that both of our parents divorced. We both had good childhoods and were close with our families. We still are. We see both families regularly. Some relatives we see daily. A lot of us live in the same town.
What attracted you to each other?
Probably what attracted us both was that we both have a good sense of humor. We are both the “life of the party.” We both like to have fun and are a lot of fun to be around. We throw great parties! What has kept us together is our level of integrity. We are both very stand-up people. We are trustworthy, reliable, and honest. We have a relationship built on trust and respect. We are totally in love and have been for many years, but more importantly, we have a lot of respect for each other.
Please describe your personalities:
Adoptive Mom? I am very outgoing, funny and loving. I have learned a lot from my years on this earth and I try to use that to my advantage the best that I can. I don’t like making the same mistakes over again. I love being a mom and my family means the world to me. I still have a young 20 year old girl in me that likes to drive a convertible down PCH with a baseball cap on listening to rock and roll.
Adoptive Dad? Kevin is a magnet. He has so much charisma and is so fun to be around. Everyone loves Kevin. He is probably the first person anybody invites to a party. He is so much fun, and is fun to be around, honest, happy and silly. Men, women, children, and everyone who meets him loves him. He is a successful, responsible, and handsome man but there is a little boy that lives inside of him that makes him truly irresistible!
What are your hobbies (please share those you enjoy as individuals and those you enjoy as a couple):
Adoptive Mom? Playing tennis, going to the gym for spin classes, bike riding, swimming, (I used to love to read but not a lot of time for that now), working on photo albums.
Adoptive Dad? Paddle boarding, bike riding, golfing, going to the gym, boating, reading.
As a couple and family we bike ride, and spend time on our boat, fishing, swimming and paddle boarding. We have a very active life.
When you close your eyes and see yourself holding your precious baby in your arms what are your thoughts regarding the birthmother?
That’s a difficult question because when I am holding the baby I am thinking of what a beautiful and amazing thing that has just happened and how this will change so many peoples' lives in a positive way. But when I am holding the baby and thinking of the birthmother, I know that my feelings will be torn in knowing the pain and uncertainty that she is surely still feeling early on. It’s hard when the baby first arrives to know that down the line you will look back and recall this as one of the best things you’ve ever done. I know from experience, that will probably be the case, but there is no doubt that the pain is so real. Early on, it is a very emotional time for everyone.
How will a child enrich your life?
We have such a wonderful life with our children and we are looking to complete our family by adding a little girl. We really feel that a little girl will be such a great balance for us. We have two very active and sweet boys who are now 3 and 5. Our family is truly ready for a baby again and we are so excited to meet her and have her be a part of our life.
Why did you each choose the career path you decided on?
Adoptive Mom? Prior to becoming a fulltime mom, I was in sales. I started my career at an escrow company and worked there for 8 years. I then realized I was not working to my full potential and chose an outside sales job. I am outgoing and a hard worker. I did great in sales! I finished my career selling advertising for a national publication.
Adoptive Dad? I have always been in a sales-oriented job. Out of college I sold copiers door to door. I was also in the loan business and was a loan broker for awhile. I have been a broker in the commercial real estate market for 14 years.
What makes a birthmom special?
The choice that she made makes a birthmom so special. Choosing life and dealing with the consequences of that are truly unbelievable. We think it is such a selfless act that you would choose to carry a child and give that child a home and a life that you are unable to provide for them at this time. Every woman is different as far as her circumstances, but every woman is amazing and beautiful to be able to provide a precious baby to a family that wants to fulfill their dreams of making their family complete.
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